Guest Column: No More Tedious Small Talk

Networking for personal and professional reasons is a reality for most of us.  But, does it really suit all of us?  Not everyone faces a large crowd of cocktail toting strangers — whether it be at a local meet and greet or a convention cocktail hour — with the same degree of enthusiasm.  One of the core principles of meaningful small talk is to play to your personal strengths.  If you are more introverted, find those opportunities such as seminars or smaller social occasions where you can practice the skills of converting “small talk” into “big talk.”  And, if you do find your energy accelerating in a ballroom the size of a football field, that’s great, too.

Once you’re in your “happy place” don’t miss opportunities for meaningful conversation.  Going beyond the banal can easily mean the difference between people being perceived as forgettable or memorable.  And, being memorable is the space most of us desire when it comes to moving forward in our personal and professional lives.  

Research shows that people are much more likely to remember conversations (and people) when the encounter is emotionally charged.  An opening question like, “What was the highlight of your day?” beats “So what do you do?” in the place in our brain where emotion and enjoyment stick a cranial post it note to the memory cells.  Those kinds of opening questions lead to more meaningful interactions, enhance our critical conversational skills, and at the end of the day, make us happier. People who have more substantive conversations report a greater sense of well-being.

So, banish the conversation starters that get you no where, like “what do you do?” or even “how are you” and replace them with more emotionally charged questions like, “Is there anything exciting that you’re working on right now?” or “What’s your personal passion outside of work?”